3810 Whites Creek Pike, Nashville, TN 37207 (615) 876-1014

Archive date:  December 22, 2016

The Nightmare Before Christmas

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and so I’ve been told
There was no dirt digging, not even by moles

The calendar now says, “It’s officially winter”
That fact is substantiated, by the empty garden center

Like bears in the winter, who need hibernation
Many gardeners too choose, horticultural procrastination

We know spring’s a-comin’, warm weather and all that
But it’s hard now to envision, warm sunshine and straw hats

The need for sunscreen, and mosquito repellants
Is far away now, if the truth I be tellin’

Even though they’ve been saying, “It’s an El Nino year”
It’s that one really cold night, which brings us to tears

Meteorologically speaking, the temps may be warm
But that doesn’t mean, plants will come to no harm

See plants aren’t concerned, with the temperature averages
They just react to, frigid cold weather ravages

It takes but one night, in the sub-zero range
To inflict plant damage, and cause us great pain

But that night is not now, nothing foreseeable ahead
Just keep it in mind, as you lie down in bed

No tossing and turning; don’t worry all night
The things you’ve forgotten, will work out all right

Recollectional failure, doesn’t mean you don’t care
You simply ask, “What?” when you mean to ask “Where?”

So off to your slumber, with gardening dreams so sublime
You’ll completely forget, it is now Christmas time

Your dreams will be massively, intricate gardens
Now under construction, with deadlines forthcoming

There’s rain in the forecast, now some say deluges
That creates rivers of runoff, between Alberta spruces

It’s not May 2010, or Hurricane Christine
Simply sugar induced nightmares, and too much caffeine

The horrific events, from which you awaken
In reality are figments, of your imagination

You arise relieved, now restored to reality
To the fact there has been, no landscape fatality

Christmas morning looks bright, no mudslides and mayhem
Only poinsettias and presents; you know I’m just sayin’…

Our appreciation for you, we cannot overstate
Merry Christmas to you, from us here at Bates!

Have yourself a joyous holiday season,

David Bates