It has finally arrived. Life, as we wish it to be, has resumed. That’s right, I’m talking about football. Everybody’s talking about it. When I say everybody, I mean everybody that is interested in football, so not actually everybody, but pretty much a large bunch of really enthusiastic gridiron persons. I choose to believe that encompasses everybody, everybody except some few who prefer other stuff over football. I have met a few of those and I always watch my words carefully…
For example: Never say, “A horse-collar tackle has been expanded to include the area at the nameplate and above", in the vicinity of any equestrian events. Remember; think about where you are and whom you are with. Be sensitive. I know the chances are remote. Besides, why the hell would you be looking at horses when football is on?
You should always avoid discussion of nuanced calls in mixed company. At all costs, refrain from blurting out, “They have eliminated the 5-yard penalty for an eligible receiver illegally touching a forward pass after being out of bounds and re-establishing himself inbounds, it simply makes it a loss of down.” When, “he who pretends to have interest” is in earshot, under no circumstances should you ever say, “They have done away with multiple spots of enforcement for double fouls after a change of possession."
Always use the lowest common denominator rule. It may simply be more appropriate to state, “Offense is when WE have the ball”, as often as necessary, in a calm, pleasantly educational tone. Football can be both fun and informative!
In honor of the return of our collective autumn adventure, we are having a sale! BatesRewards members like you get to pick ANY* one item at 15% off AND get ALL* your remaining items at 10% off! You heard me right; through Thursday September 15, 2016 get your “1st” choice, any item*, 15% off and 10% off everything* else!
Truckloads have arrived,