3810 Whites Creek Pike, Nashville, TN 37207 (615) 876-1014
 

Archive date:  December 24, 2015

The Nightmare Before Christmas

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and so I’ve been told

There was no dirt digging, not even by moles

 

The calendar now says, “It’s officially winter”

That fact is substantiated, by the empty garden center

 

Like bears in the winter, who need hibernation

Many gardeners too choose, horticultural procrastination

 

We know spring’s a-comin’, warm weather and all that

But it’s hard now to envision, warm sunshine and straw hats

 

The need for sunscreen, and mosquito repellants

Is far away now, if the truth I be tellin’

 

Even though they’ve been saying, “It’s an El Nino year”

It’s that one really cold night, which brings us to tears

 

Meteorologically speaking, the temps may be warm

But that doesn’t mean, plants will come to no harm

 

See plants aren’t concerned, with the temperature averages

They just react to, frigid cold weather ravages

 

It takes but one night, in the sub-zero range

To inflict plant damage, and cause us great pain

 

But that night is not now, nothing foreseeable ahead

Just keep it in mind, as you lie down in bed

 

No tossing and turning; don’t worry all night

The things you’ve forgotten, will work out all right

 

Recollectional failure, doesn’t mean you don’t care

You simply ask, “What?” when you mean to ask “Where?”

 

So off to your slumber, with gardening dreams so sublime

You’ll completely forget, it is now Christmas time

 

Your dreams will be massively, intricate gardens

Now under construction, with deadlines forthcoming

 

There’s rain in the forecast, now some say deluges

That creates rivers of runoff, between Alberta spruces

 

It’s not May 2010, or Hurricane Christine

Simply sugar induced nightmares, and too much caffeine

 

The horrific events, from which you awaken

In reality are figments, of your imagination

 

You arise relieved, now restored to reality

To the fact there has been, no landscape fatality

 

Christmas morning looks bright, no mudslides and mayhem

Only poinsettias and presents; you know I’m just sayin’…

 

Our appreciation for you, we cannot overstate

Merry Christmas to you, from us here at Bates!

 

Have yourself a joyous holiday season,

 

David Bates